Monday was my three month anniversary.
Many people don’t count months, but I do. I think that they are the most important part of the relationship. This is the time when you know your significant other, but you’re still learning so much about them. You are also learning so much about yourself too!
Ever since I began this whole “life of dating” I believed the best relationships exist between two people that don’t keep secrets from each other. I think that the best connections are made when both people are honest in all they do and say to and with each other. (This is where my learning comes in) I have learned that having a completely transparent relationship is very difficult. The person that I am with now admits to not wanting to tell me everything. I understand that perspective, but at the same time the thought of, “I’m your boyfriend. You should want to include me in everything you do,” crosses my mind repeatedly.
Last night I had a very heated, yet informative, conversation. In the conversation I was told that I saught much attention, even at inconvenient times. I was also told that there were times when I could be “hostile” towards the person that I love. I was also told that I speak to some people as if they were children. Now, I am not going to say that all of these are false. I’m not going to try and justify my actions, my words, or the way I think my actions and words should be understood. Why? Because these direct, blunt accusations are correct.
Yes, they are correct. There are many times when I see myself being a “bitch” to the person that I love. I hate it. For so long I blamed it on my zodiac sign. I am a Cancer. They are known to be emotional. So, i would blame it on that. But now I realize that I have complete control over my emotions. I just need to learn how to control them. One of my previous relationships ended due to those factors listed above. I refuse to ruin this relationship due to the same issues!
Ron, you are my everything! (This is the first time I have ever given the name of the person I’m with… you must mean alot to me… haha!) You are the reason that I love you. Yes, you read it correctly. You are the reason that I love you. Theway you carry yourself. The way you treat me. Your personality. Your damn good looks! It all adds up to my overall perspective of you. Being who you are, not changing a thing, attracts me to you more and more everyday.
I wake up in the morning wondering what you are doing. In the middle of the day I think about how much I care about you. In the middle of the night I think about our future and its endless possibilities. Right when I get off the phone with you I miss you. Right when you look into my eyes I can feel your soul. I see how much you care for me. I embrace how much you love me.
Have you ever felt this way about someone before? I hope I’m the first person that has ever made you feel this way. If I’m not, that’s still OK. I just want you to know that I was always there. I don’t want to be the boyfriend that was MIA. I want to be the best. The best you’ve ever had, like Drake said… kinda. I’m going to be very honest with you. (On this site, where the world can see) You make me whole. You light up my world. You are the only person that has ever fully accepted me for everything that I am. I’m not just a bitch in the afternoon. I can be a bitch at all hours of the day. Yet, you still love me. Yet, you still put up with my stupidity. You give me things that no one has ever given me. You give me life.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it made you cry? When you first told me that I made you cry tears of joy I didn’t believe you. I didn’t understand why you would cry. Until Monday, out 3 month anniversary. As I was thinking about you that night after we talked, I felt myself getting happier and happier. Then I felt something roll down my cheeks. I was crying. I NEVER cry! I don’t remember the last time I had cried. It’s been years, literally! But these were not your average tears. They were tears of joy, of excitement, of love, of passion, of thankfulness!
Right now I am terrified. Terrified of the future. Terrified of what may come of us. Right now I couldn’t imagine not being with you. I can’t fathom you even being with someone else. We both worked so hard to get where we are right now. I feel like this can last for a very, very long time–the way we are going now. I used to believe that happy relationships where a myth. But you have shown me that even through tough moments, happy relationships are 100% real and 100% worth the struggle!
Baby, I love you! You are my everything! Happy Anniversary!
I hope to share many, many more with you!
I love you Ron!
